eToro review
eToro is a company that you can't start a sentence with if you want to be grammatically correct. Luckily we don't. We have had an eToro account for a few years now... they even gave us a $100 of "Tesla" shares for free once (worth considerably less now). It allows you to invest not just in stocks and shares but also in crypto too (We did actually use some of our real money on this after a tip from a "friend" of ours.... it didn't go well, the friendship or the investment. But is it an amateur investors paradise or just a load of old bull (see what we did there)? And what about our pledge never to invest any of our actual real money - is that actually possible? We asked one of our cash geeks to investigate...... It's Strange Dave, he's an interesting crypto geek type character so please bear with him. We don't even understand his title. Apologies in advance. If you want to sign up use the link below!!
eToro: The Good, the Bad, and the HODL
Pros:
1. User-Friendly App: eToro's app is so intuitive, even your grandma could use it. Seriously, she's probably already there, trading Dogecoin with her knitting club.
2. Competitive Fees: eToro's fees are like that one friend who always pays for dinner. You won't find hidden charges lurking in the shadows.
3. Stocks and ETFs Galore: With over 3,000 options, it's like a buffet of financial instruments. Just don't try to eat the ETFs; they're not edible.
4. Copy-Trading Magic: Imagine cloning Warren Buffett's brain (minus the Oracle of Omaha's love for Cherry Coke). eToro lets you copy successful investors. It's like having a financial doppelgänger.
Cons:
1. Withdrawal Fees: eToro charges $5 for withdrawals. Apparently, they're hiring a team of carrier pigeons to deliver your cash.
2. Inactivity Fees: After 12 months of inactivity, they'll send a guilt-trip email. "Missed you! Here's a fee for ghosting us."
3. Cryptocurrency Fees: Crypto trading fees can be higher than Elon Musk's Twitter engagement. But hey, at least you're not paying in Dogecoin.
The eToro Community: Where Memes Roam Free
Picture this: You're scrolling through eToro's social feed, and suddenly, there it is—a meme about Bitcoin riding a rocket to the moon.
"-Crypto Enthusiast #1: "HODL, my friends! The moon awaits!"
-Crypto Enthusiast #2: "I sold my car for Dogecoin. Now I'm a Lambo-less millionaire."
- Crypto Enthusiast #3: "My portfolio? 90% memes, 10% regret."
(Editors note: We have no idea what this part is about. He's called Strange Dave for a reason.)
And don't forget the "eToro CopyTrader Hall of Fame":
1. CopyCat Carl: He copied Warren Buffett's moves but accidentally invested in a cat café. Now he's the proud owner of 500 shares in "WhiskerTech Inc."
2. Risk-Taker Rita: She copied Elon Musk's tweets. Her portfolio includes SpaceX, Tesla, and a startup that turns memes into NFTs.
3. Meme Master Mike: His bio reads, "In Dogecoin we trust." His strategy? Buy low, sell high, and HODL through the apocalypse.
When you sign up, eToro sprinkles some digital fairy dust on your account. Here's how to claim your free cash:
1. The Referral Dance: Refer a friend, and both of you get a bonus. It's like a financial pyramid scheme, but with less guilt.
2. Deposit Bonuses: Deposit real money, and eToro adds a little extra. It's like finding a $20 bill in your winter coat—except it's digital and not covered in lint.
Remember, investing involves risk. If you lose money, just blame it on Mercury retrograde or that squirrel that stole your WiFi. (Editors note: Dave has really lost it now. We can only apologise)
So, fellow amateur investor, strap on your moon boots, grab your meme helmet, and welcome to eToro—the place where finance meets fun.
*Disclaimer: This review is 69.420% accurate (approximately). Always consult a financial advisor before making any decisions. And no, eToro doesn't accept Dogecoin as payment. Yet. (Editor's Note: remember not to ask Strange Dave to write an article again.)
FANCY SIGNING UP? USE THE LINK!
ETORO LIVE REVIEW AND NEWS UPDATES
NEW UPDATE: 16/09/2024: eToro has settled with the SEC for $1.5 million over charges of operating as an unregistered broker and clearing agency. As part of the settlement, eToro will limit U.S. customers to trading only Bitcoin, Bitcoin Cash, and Ether. They have 180 days to sell other tokens. Scary news? Only if you live in the US apparently.
This move is part of eToro’s effort to comply with U.S. regulations and avoid further violations. The company emphasized that this settlement will have minimal impact on its global operations, where users can still access over 100 crypto assets. We here at cash geeks are particularly pleased about this after making some spectacularly awful crypto investments based on the advice of "Mike". Avoid all people called "Mike". So we won't be pulling out just yet.....!
